I think more than anything else in my spiritual life, I struggle with trusting in times of uncertainty. No matter how many times I get things "figured out", I still inevitably find myself stumbling in the dark, wondering where on earth I'm going and why I'm not there yet. These times always pass and, a short while later, there comes a time of sweet rest, when I know I'm exactly where God wants me; and even though I may be surrounded by unanswered questions and dead ends, I'm content; I love those times. Sad to say, right now is not one of those times. I don't know if it's me, or my human nature, or both, but I seem to lack the ability to stay in that beautiful place of peace and rest. I am restless, and so I wander. I quickly get lost and have to relearn the lesson. God in his goodness somehow remains patient and is ready to pick me back up and point me in the right direction. Now, if I could just get that direction. It's in these times of uncertainty that I need to lift my head high and rejoice in the fact that it will come. I know it will. My father does not leave his children out to dry. He is my shepherd and I WILL NOT WANT. Sometimes there are green pastures and still waters, but he walks with me even when there are not. But they will come.
Lord, give me the patience to wait on you. Daily remind me that you can and will do all things in your perfect time. Give me the wisdom to move when the time of waiting is over. Help me to embrace the silence and the chaos with open arms, and trust you in both. Give me peace. Perfect, beautiful, divine peace that only you can give. Help me trust in you ALWAYS, for you do all things well.
For I know whom I have believed and am persuaded that He is able to keep what I have committed to Him until that Day (2 Timothy 1:12b).
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