Beautiful Uncertainty

I think more than anything else in my spiritual life, I struggle with trusting in times of uncertainty. No matter how many times I get things "figured out", I still inevitably find myself stumbling in the dark, wondering where on earth I'm going and why I'm not there yet. These times always pass and, a short while later, there comes a time of sweet rest, when I know I'm exactly where God wants me; and even though I may be surrounded by unanswered questions and dead ends, I'm content; I love those times. Sad to say, right now is not one of those times. I don't know if it's me, or my human nature, or both, but I seem to lack the ability to stay in that beautiful place of peace and rest. I am restless, and so I wander. I quickly get lost and have to relearn the lesson. God in his goodness somehow remains patient and is ready to pick me back up and point me in the right direction. Now, if I could just get that direction. It's in these times of uncertainty that I need to lift my head high and rejoice in the fact that it will come. I know it will. My father does not leave his children out to dry. He is my shepherd and I WILL NOT WANT. Sometimes there are green pastures and still waters, but he walks with me even when there are not. But they will come.

Lord, give me the patience to wait on you. Daily remind me that you can and will do all things in your perfect time. Give me the wisdom to move when the time of waiting is over. Help me to embrace the silence and the chaos with open arms, and trust you in both. Give me peace. Perfect, beautiful, divine peace that only you can give. Help me trust in you ALWAYS, for you do all things well.

For I know whom I have believed and am persuaded that He is able to keep what I have committed to Him until that Day (2 Timothy 1:12b).

I seem to lack the ability or motivation to post more than once or twice every three months, but when I blew the cobwebs off my blog and looked over some of my most recent posts (April/May), I realized I actually had a few comments, and yes, confirmation that at least three people read it from time to time. So, here I am, once again pounding out to the great unknown what ever happens to pop into my head.

Here's a quick rundown of the last 2 1/2 months: I went to Europe as planned in late May/early June. It was a great experience, and I'm now officially addicted to traveling. I returned home and started my intership in Lansing. It took me about a week to decide that commuting 45 minutes every day was very overrated, so, going on a referral from a friend, I moved to Lansing. That worked out great, except for the third or fourth day, when my house was broken into and my laptop stolen. With it went thousands of pictures (including those from Europe and Mexico), three years worth of school work, and some silly videos I filmed with my younger siblings. Despite many generous promises from my landlord to help restore/replace it, it's almost the end of summer, and I still remain without a laptop. Oh well, as the French would say, C'est la vie. Other highlights include three weddings I was a part of. I was an usher for both my cousin's wedding and my friend Jon's, and this past weekend I was the best man in my brother Seth's wedding. That last one was a bit more stressful, as I had to plan a bachelor party and write a best man speech, which by the way was a great success. Turns out I know how to make people laugh and cry at a wedding. Who knew? It was also probably the most fun and the most important, as Seth is my brother and all.

And that brings us up to date. In two days, I will relinquish my position as an intern at Auto-Owners Insurance and prepare to head back to school. It's been a good summer, but I'm ready to be back at school. My last year, holy cow!!! Anywho, I'm out for now, but I'll try and post something other than a history lesson fairly soon.